Friends
Let them come
Opportunities
Let them come
Jobs
Let them come
Guys
Let them come
Happiness
Work for it
Money
Work for it
Success
Work for it
Relationships
Work for it
Sadness
Let it go
The past
Let it go
Fear
Let it go
The chase
let it go
and everything else will come.
I thought my toy
could bring me joy,
sometimes I just
need a boy.
Last night I had a dream, telling me that I should let you go.
It’s my subconscious, telling me I should stop
holding on to a past
that never brought me joy.
Also, my subconscious showed me
that you weren’t bad,
but I wasn’t happy.
After months of mixed feelings,
I dreamed of this particular drawing,
and it’s the first time in a long while
I express myself again
using an image.
It’s ironic how I was feeling terrible
over the thought of hurting someone,
and it turns out,
they’re not hurt.
It made me laugh.
It’s ironic how the people who are beneath you,
are the ones who try to push you down
to their own level.
It made me strong.
It’s ironic how I got my book published in France,
and it got rejected in my own country,
instead of it being the opposite.
It made me happy.
After all,
it does feel better,
to not hurt someone you didn’t love,
to feel high above the person beneath you,
and to get published in France and not Lebanon.
After all,
It’s ironic to be sad over the things that made me happy.
I burn it,
I need it,
Maybe it’s my mania,
maybe it’s my depression,
or a sweet mixture of both.
Today I saw my shrink,
she requires money too.
She warned me to not get into risky behavior,
I will follow her advice.
Everything requires money,
I must work,
I am working, litle by little.
No matter for much I fall,
my carreer will always catch me.
I took the decision to stop chasing you and him.
after all, nobody’s worth the chase.
I took the decision to live without you and him.
If I were to imagine the perfect mate, he’ll be a mixture of you both. But I’m really, better off alone.
Last night I danced my heart out for hours, it felt so good, this freedom. I haven’t danced like this for years, I should do it again.
I looked good, I looked fit and beautiful, people thought I was working out.
In reality I just got stressed and depressed, but I came out happy as fuck.
Everyday I write down 5 positive things that happened to me, and ever since I started doing that, I started to see that life wasn’t bad after all!
I’m excited to grow into the woman i’ve always wanted to become.
I am torn, on the inside
and because of that, I am also
harmful.
Don’t ask me to hurt you,
don’t push me to become a person I’m afraid of,
don’t ask me to slap you,
I know that you’re not gonna like it.
It was a hot summer evening,
I love summer evenings,
It took me hours to get there,
even posponed some appointments and plans,
why?
Stupid things I do
to get with you.
Everything was so warm and beautiful,
yet cold and confusing at times,
and between this mixture,
of love and hate,
or just attraction and repulsion,
we found ourselves ravaging each other
between bedsheets
sweat dripping from your forehead to my belly
and a nice shower to cool things off,
a shower intended to get us clean and not dirty,
and then I say something stupid
that set u off
and I leave.
I enjoyed this beautiful memory
spent with an ugly beautiful man.
Jude 