he crashed his car, he doesn’t need it anymore
and he doesn’t want to split it
and got himself a new car
he went on smiling, going on several adventures
where was his adventurous spirit when we were together?
he’s cooking, living, smiling
he never smiled in a picture before I met him
now he’s happy…
disgusting.
disturbing.
He said he’s roam the world not talking to anyone not contacting anyone if I left him…….
He also said he’d live on the streets…..
I always wanted him to move on in a healthy way
and now he did.
It’s just painful to see
where I am
and where he is.
He’s got an appartment
a job
a new car
new adventures
and he’s living his best life with his best friend.
That other guy
the fun guy
the guy that I wondered if he was like him.
Why was he so boring with me?
So locked up at home?
He can’t control me if he took me out much.
The only fun we had was when his friend took us out.
His friend was the wild adventurous one.
He was wild in a different way, in a way I don’t actually like.
I don’t think I’d like any of them
it’s just I liked that the other guy was spontaneous and took us to many places and had it good.
He didn’t have it that good
before he met me he didn’t have much.
Then he got a nice job, and now without me, he has more money to spare I guess.
Although it seems weird, because I didn’t eat as much as him, and now I feel I can afford most things I could have bought before.
I even bought new pjs, nice food, beauty and hair products, shaving cream and everything he used to get me.
And weirdly enough I still have money to spare.
I’m biking and walking more, and today I went swimming, something I couldn’t do with him
and didn’t have the support not the motivation anymore to do it alone.
I’m surprised how he managed to dive with his stupid blocked nose.
He nagged my head when I took him snowboarding so I don’t understand where his happy spirit comes from
maybe it’s just for the photo
just to show off that he’s happy without me and having a great life without me.
Some weird woman is liking his pics, she’s wearing something revealing…
again… he’s like; look at me now, a new happy improved fun adventurous man
open for love and dating.
I bet he downloaded tinder or one of his other disgusting dating apps.
I bet he acts like a single man now and he doesn’t really talk to them about me or mention the marriage.
He presents himself like his new single guy.
Now his profile looks almost exactly like it did when I first met him.
It’s scary how he could delete everything and start fresh and act as if nothing happened.
Jesse Meester style.
Some disgusting woman will hump his disgusting self.
He will have sex on the bed we used to share.
He will tell her the same story.
Or no story at all…. just act like he’s some new single man…
I feel idiotic for keeping the images and pictures.
I live here in a shelter, hiding, with a secret identity, new phone number, keeping it low,
trying not to show where I am and what I do.
While he lives his best life, shows off his new car and new adventures with his friend.
He never cared so much about social media as he does now.
He never took a picture of me himself and shared it. Only pictures of us, and I’m the one who usually starts.
He never took a picture of a place we went to and shared it. I was sharing most of the things.
Now he takes pics and shares them? Now he’s all into sharing on instagram?
Now he’s into smiling in pictures?
Why did I marry this pig????????
He NEVER cared about going to the gym, and NOW he wants to go and talk about deciding the days?
He made me HATE life and now he shows off how much he’s enjoying it?
He wanted to do nothing but game and stay home and watch series.
Now he’s all active all of a sudden?
Going out and about?
What a dickhead.
A real one.
And to think that this guy said he can’t live without me.
That I am the best thing that ever happened in his life.
What a load of crap…
And his mother… she never bothered talking to me…
Where is ‘if you mess this up the whole family will be against you’ ??
Where is that? Or is it just stupid words
Like those stupid people who just say ‘if he hurts you I’ll go after him!’
and then they do nothing.
Don’t speak things you won’t do.
I am unfortunate because I crossed his path.
It’s a shame how I treated him and his family and how my family treated him and his family.
It’s a shame how I spent hours drawing him and us.
Nobody bought these cursed drawings.
The first thing he does was go diving, cancel the airbnb, apply for divorce, look for a new car.
Jude 