Golden year

I’m actually starting to enjoy being 25

I feel better than ever

I feel young but mature at the same time

Full of life and energy

Happier

More independent.

Now that I’m done with my freelance this weekend tastes sweet

I spent a great time with my beautiful cousins

And family

And friends.

I enjoyed being alone in the house

But nothing is better than having a house full of people

Can’t imagine life without them.

I feel happy for the first time

As a 25 year old

Age doesn’t scare me anymore

It sometimes feels nice

To grow up

Beauty in you

I have always admired certain physical traits and proportions in other women

Not knowing I had a beautiful figure myself

It was covered by layers of fat

And loose shirts

When I lost weight

I discovered I had a beautiful belly

Beautiful arms, shoulders and thin waist

Despite my scoliosis

I managed to pull off crop tops

I guess from now I have to keep it up

And try to stay in shape as much as I can

I recently discovered I loved physical activity

Sitting home drawing all day makes me crave moving around and having fun

I’m trying to swim more often

And eating a lot makes me wanna burn fat

My work/life balance this week was good

Balance is such a beautiful state

Hopefully it can become a lifestyle.

I have myself

At least I won’t give up on myself

I won’t lie to myself anymore

Convince myself that I’m happy

I won’t deceive myself

And try to not harm myself.

There will be no one that will treat me

The way I treat myself

The way I care for myself

Or see me the way I see myself.

And I don’t want anyone to have my look on me, because sometimes

I don’t love myself

I don’t care for myself

I forget myself.

Being alone is safer than being looked at

Judged

Assessed

Being scared of the other

Seeing the flaws inside me

I don’t believe in love

I believe in friendship

In mutual interest

Natural trust

Complete transparency

Intimacy

Common goals

Desire to be together

Feeling connected

Feeling There

In the fulfilling presence

Of someone you get along with

In keeping promises

Being true

Valuing each other

Treating each other with respect

I don’t believe in a feeling called love

But I do believe in everything else

That makes two people

Want to be together

25

A big year of deception.

Relationships are deceiving

Friendships are deceiving

Family is deceiving

Love is deceiving.

Every time I show someone care

And they don’t

I take it back

I no longer believe in ultimate love

Loving someone more than anything

Only sets you up for deception

Nobody meets my expectations

So it means I live in an unrealistic world

But I got used to reality

I got used to people disappearing

People lying

Hiding

Changing the truth

Avoiding

Being ungrateful

Absorbed

I don’t expect anything from anyone

To each their own lives.

Why do I value people?

More than they deserve

I always see the good in them

And a beautiful version of them

Only to be deceived

Life looks better when I paint it

Life is mediocre for what it is

People look better when they lie

And friendships grow weaker with time.

Everything is how I feel

And I feel dead, inside.

People never change

I just saw their ugly faces

And I ran away

To grow a distance

Between me

And them.

No point for change

There’s no point in changing someone

Pushing them to be something they’re not

There’s no point in being with someone

Why do humans crave love so much?

What’s so special about that feeling called love

You can be happy without it