Channel your inner genius

I managed to turn my bipolar 

into creative energy. 

Tonight I feel productive

accomplished

successful, 

I managed to start drawing again,

thanks to yesterday’s arragements,

my somehow down mood,

and my free time.

I feel like my artistic capacity hasn’t been explored

for a long while now

and it’s about time I wake the beast up. 

With no distractions, 

nothing to care about

no friends to beg for going out

and a boyfriend who doesn’t ignore me

it feels right to start new work. 

I shall do this often

 – at a dream level: everynight –

it’s good for me

it’s good for my ego

now that I know I’m starting off my carreer 

the more I work the better. 

For the first time in many days

my sleep came naturally 

it fell down on me midst working

and suddenly I don’t feel the need 

to take the pill anymore. 

But I’ll take it anyway

cause I’m done for tonight. 
 

Best decision ever

Being happy

was the best decision I took this summer

Being happy isn’t luck

or a medicine

it’s a life choice

it’s actively choosing everyday 

to overlook the negatives

to do more of what makes you happy

to hold on to the positives

and drown in the beauty of love and life

and be inspired by it,

happiness is my muse.

Most beautiful day

I woke up too early

Excited,

I got ready, then pretended to sleep

waiting in bed

eagerly

for you to come and kiss me. 

I love cuddling in my bed

I love love

and all the kisses and laughs and touches

we’re crazy

and it’s beautiful

how we both can make each other

so sad or so happy. 

It’s a new experience,

spending our morning in bed.  

We took off to zahle

we had fun on the road

we wore the same blue sunglasses

and listened to yoünger brother

and got excited.

We stopped by at a flower shop

and I picked up a beautiful bouquet

for my father

but the cemetery was closed

and we couldn’t enter.

We reached berdawni

it was such a beautiful sunny day 

we ordered mezza

arguile

and arak

like a real lebanese couple. 

We ate till we were full

and left to buy ice cream

for my grandma.

She was sitting by her balcony

alone

sad

she saw us

she was so happy

she cried

I’m happy we made her happy

I love her so much

I wouldn’t want anyone to stop my love for her

not even herself. 

We ate icecream and drank coffee

and had an amazing time with teta. 

When we left, she barely could walk but insisted on walking us to the door

I wish I can see her more often

I will try

she deserves to be happy.

We then took off to mtein, 

beautiful mtein, 

stopped at a spot

where I could leave my flowers

and where we can climb rocks

and take pictures

with a beautiful view in front of us.

We continued our journey to my house, and enjoyed a sunset and a good time with my family

It was an amazing day

we drank rum and ate cake

and had fun talking on our way back to the city. 

I don’t feel like working

I just want to enjoy the memories

of today. 

Come inside me

I shall open the door

before you knock,

Enter my house

and turn the tv on

get comfy

while I use my new shampoo

and lotions

Let us lay endlessly

and fall asleep

do nothing

while we enjoy being together. 

Attraction springs

within a blink

mirrors reflect

what our bodies are trying to do

I know we both

like it so much

We just love

how it feels

when it gets in

real slow

in steady motion,

feeling textures

wetness 

and skin

Every thrust sends a chill

then you pull out gently

and cover me with warmth

dripping sideways

all the ways

we be careful

to not take risks

and maybe 

in an electric fling

one day

you come inside me. 

Blissful day

It’s strange

how my spectrum of emotions

varies within a week. 

I have reached my bliss and comfort

my cycle seems one of 3 days 

it’s a rollercoaster in my head 

and i’m always happy when it’s high! 

I almost gained 3 kilos since Guiro came, 

we do food porn everyday

and some workout sessions.

It feels good, 

I feel happy today, 

I feel joy 🙂 

I am joy. 

(delicious lunch at schnitzel, 

walking in the mall, 

“working out” on couch, 

in bed, 

drinking spiced rhum, 

smoking, 

checking out pics) 

Jobless in Beirut

Baby come back to me

and let us suffocate

under the polluted airs

of our trash filled cities.

Come back to me

when the sun meets the sea

jobless, we’ll be

under the night sky

of our favorite mountains.

Let’s see where it leads

living autumn adventures

while constantly trying

to escape our polluted land. 

Baby come back to me

into my arms, 

hold me, 

let me feel

the truth in my hopes, 

and a warm place to dream

of a beautiful tomorrow. 

I can see you

in my blog stats

I know

how many times you visited me

which posts you read

how many times you refreshed the browser

and I see high activity

before and after

I turned this blog private.

I thought men

were creatures who hurt

and feel nothing,

and you showed me differently.

 

Be happy

I have given you

my heart painted stone

my thoughts and feelings

dark or sunny

ugly and beautiful

sad and happy

and I just wish

I could reach into your heart

see why you’re sad

offer comfort

anytime you want.

I wish I could give you a hug

and hold your head,

I let it rest on my shoulder

so you just let go

of what’s troubling you.

I’m worried

about you,

maybe it’s a phase

you’re going through.

I hope it’ll pass

and you learn happiness

I just wish to show you

how beautiful life is

if we make it so.

 

Do I make you happy?

When I smile

because of the thought of you

and life itself

because of the things you do to me

it makes me wonder

do I make you happy?

I’d be pretty sad

if I didn’t. 



I miss you

Today is the first day

out of many to come

without you.

Should I feel silly

for being so happy? 

it’s not as happy as it sounds

this distance that will seperate us.

I’m really positive about you

and I only hope you feel the same

I hate seeing you sad

and all I want

is to hold you tight

and now I get it,

now I know, 

that it’s gonna be a long wait

for us to be together again.

Maybe I live in a cloud

that tells me it’ll be alright, 

And every time I close my eyes

The beautiful memories we made

play, 

and it sucks that instead of happiness

they now

bring pain.